the darkest night.....

We’re all excited, jubilant about our ventures. Now, that we are nearing to finish the second lap of the race. Some of us will be job hunting while others who already got jobs will be looking to settle down. However, we can still refer to the two laps we’ve pass- drove from time-to-time as a reflection.

    Everyone is a witness that we have been through ups and downs. We hustled and struggled. Some of us fall and picked themselves up. Some could not rise again. It has been the survival of the fittest.

    Some have seen the light…..they are now working, sum are still job hunting. Anyway that is part of life. We can do the same thing but the repercussions can be different. Anything is possible. Hence, life is like a race, where you need to focus on the curves and caution signs ahead. “Don’t look at others coz your car might tumble”. Unless you been down that road before then you can assist your counterparts.

Reevaluating Our Friends!!!

How many people have come in our lives as “friends” but in no time they just vanish. Disappearing act, if you know what I mean!!! From time to time we meet new people and different types of peeps from different spheres of the planet. They come and go. I mean in my life, so many have come and gone. Though I had to come to terms that friends will come to fulfil a certain purpose in our lives and once their role is accomplished they leave, (*sad face*). Goodbyes are my worst, I hate to say goodbye. But on the flip side when someone say goodbye I feel better then those who just disappear.

It’s very irritating, when you think you got yourself a friend who cares about you, when he leaves…some of them don’t even warn you…they just disappear. It is true that you only see the value of someone once he is gone. We hang around with friends, everything might seem fine and splendid, and you sit down chat with them but we find it hard or should I say we do not even think about reevaluating if you still serve the purpose or play your role as friend or the people around you. Sometimes we don’t even ask when we start a friendship, what type of friends we are going to be? What role one will play in our friendship?

A friendship just happens, and it starts in a number of ways. Some meet at school, some at the malls, some from the same ‘hood’, some at church, you name it! But no matter how you guys meet, know what role one play or possess in your life because you get friends who are there to destroy you. We connect with people easily, we share our experiences. Now with a flabbergasting online media like Facebook, Twitter, Mxit etc, have just made things easier. We even become friends with people you never met before. Those people are called ‘strangers’, but once you mingle with them they are no longer strangers but friends. Warning!!! You should not trust them fully though, LOL.

Personally speaking, I don’t want fly-by-nights friends; I want genuine, long lasting friendships. I want people who are going to be there when I need them most. I want people who care about me, in my circle. If you don’t care about me and have no sentiments, though luck……coz I will race off.

I mean as friends you will go through ups and downs, and sometimes you will go through a rocky patch but true friends stay no matter what. They let you know things will be alright. Even when the sky turns cloudy, when the light is gone, they tell you to stay strong, because they have faith in you, they have faith that the tunnel will light up and you’ll see the light again. These are types of people I need in my circle.

True friends will read between the lines, they will walk beside you and won’t follow or lead you. But how many times do you ever reevaluate your friendship? Reevaluating friendships helps you not to hold firm on to someone who do not serve their purpose anymore, or people who do not see value in you anymore, people who do not care about you. When is the time to do this re-evaluation? I think it is now, because keeping useless people in your circles is a waste of time which can not be replaced. Lost time is like a lost life. Its dead, you will never get it back so why waste time with the so called “friends” you ain’t need no longer? Do some evaluation and let them go!!! “Let it go” is inspired by T. D Jakes.

Watch this space!!!

What it means to watch this space? I have had many people saying this and sometimes get confused if they are threatening me or what. Usually this will appear at the end of ma folks’ texts. But I have just realized that it’s another way to promise something. Like ma oak when we play cards he would say, “today I will bit you, watch this space”.

  As we are nearing to the end of our academic careers there is a lot coming up, though, of course each has their own goals but some of us will join the industry, some will take a break (of which I don’t encourage any of us to), some will run their own businesses, just watch the space!!!

  I have been processing this for a very long time now that as I have been living a student life since I started schooling now it’s about time I adventure other aspects of life which some I have been introduced into, like working, other things I would like to have a piece of are: workouts, sports (soccer, cricket and athletics), traveling, among other things. There are number of other things I want to venture into but watch the space.

  Please be patient and watch this space for other exciting things I want to do, watch out the developments and fantastic ventures I am about to undertake. Watch this space!!!!

Conventional is a good fallback position

Every individual have objectives. These can be short term, mid term or long term goals. As we are in pursuit of our careers we have vast ideas and not all of these ideas will work out the way we want them to. Some of us want to own businesses and others wants to further their academic career in one way or the other. Either way in all of this there might be fallbacks. It is therefore important to have a back up plan for your plans in case the one you have does not work.

My opinionated advice is to be able to adjust and adapt, but most importantly be flexible so that if your plan does not work out then an alternative plan will be your fallback position (which might be conventional). If you play your cards right, you will not be in a situation where you accept anything that happens to you. Conventional fallback position means general standard, normal settings, where one fall into if the original set out one does not work. I for one have been in a situation where none of my plans materialized then I had to do things the conventional way. I had to accept life as it is, you how hard it is to sustain life and not making life. I mean one thing I like about life is that we are given freedom, the opportunity to decide what we wanna do out of it, what we wanna make out of it. Although it has responses to our attempt to make a living and some of those are not good at all.

It does not matter how you fall but if you pick yourself after you’ve fell is better because you realize your mistakes.

I am very fond of this say: “if you are going nowhere in particular, any road will take you there” by Lewis Carroll. Though in life we encounter unconventional things but for the sake of making something in life conventional will be a good fallback position. I think this applies to people who are not proactive. People who live life as it present itself to them.

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea” (Alain)

They say a man without a backup plan does not have a plan at all. As they say that anything is possible in life so, certainly, as human being you will have obstacles in your endeavors and these can hinder you to achieve your goals, be it personal, business or any other. Ideas are just mind thoughts or images one constructs. These ideas should be turned into action. Hence you need to have ideas and not one idea.

So really there is nothing more dangerous than an idea, when you have one idea. An idea keeps one on his toes as you should undertake research on the previous and current ideas and what were the pitfalls if there are any, or if it worked or did not. Do this to balance your state of being because if your idea does not work out you will have repurcussions.

An idea on its own is essential for anybone because it basically gives a person commitment and a direction one can take to put that idea into action. So having one idea is dangerous. It is best to have the second idea where you can actually compare or choose any that will work effectively for you. More than two ideas are better than one because you will have atleast an opportunity to choose between them. Three are even much better because you have a variety to choose from.

D definition of luv

  Every day of our lives we often here the word love: “I love Apple Mac, I love Porsche Cayenne (oh!! dats my favourate car)” and so many other things that people love. But do we really know what love means? I know each man has his own definition of love. In English language love means ‘a strong positive emotion of regard and affection’. Yet other languages like French love means different things for different purposes and these are ‘amour, aime, amtie’.

  We live in a country where our love has one meaning with everything. Where love is no longer a choice but an obligation, we are living in the world where we should love our families no matter what they do to us. Because they are family you got to love them. Same goes with friends we have to love them no matter what they...provided we really love them and they serve our personal needs. (*sigh*). 

  We live in the times where we love one another on performance factors. In your family for example, if you have done something that please your parents then they will tell ‘I love You son’, you’re such a star. That type of love is performance based and it’s not the love from within. Why should we do something to know our parents loves us? How are suppose to people around us if we do not get love from our families? I think parents are the ones who should nurture us and give us unconditional love so that we can transmit the same love to our brothaz and sistaz around us.

  We live in the land where our love is tailor-made by people around us; we do dramatic things to please people in our surrounding. When you go on a date with someone who love horse-riding for example and you never tried or had any interest in it: but because you wanna be with that person you’ll do anything to make her happy, you will pretend that you also love horse-riding. Why do we have to lie to be with people we love? We lie and do things that people love in a way that we even forget about our inner feelings, interests, and we forget who we truly are because we have been venturing other people’s lives and not ours.

  There is nothing worst then to lie to yourself, to live a fake life, a life that is tailor-made by others and not us. They say people can do anything for love. People can go all out to ensure that their lovers “supposedly lovers” stay with them. Things you would not do in your truly state of mind or self being. Why do we have to be shifted from our own way of living to those of other people? We live on the planet earth where some of us can no longer tell who their real selves are. People have lost self identity; they now have false personal identity. Some people are force to tell their partners they love them even they do not feel like just because it makes the other partner feel happy. I think that should come from within and must not be pulled out of ones’ chest.

  Love as any other things is made of various ingredients and these are: truth, love, trust, care, commitment among others. I start with truth because being honest with one another is the core concept of love. You gotta be honest with yourself before you get involved with anyone else because if you enter in a relationship where you only want to fulfil certain purposes of life you just in a wrong relationship and actually you don’t even know what love means.

  You know that sometimes people that loves you do not always do right things, they can hurt you, they can reject you just because they love you, they can do things that even a stranger is capable of because they love you. These things are possible because love does not occur over night; it takes time to know anyone better. So being hurt in a relationship is just the rhyme of love. 

  Love is another essential ingredient for love. Hmmm!! Let me rephrase that, love is the perfect ingredient of love. You can care, trust, commit yourself with someone or on something you love. However, if the element of love doesn't exist there, then you just don't love him/her or it but you probably adore it. One has to learn to love before they emancipate love to others. Love yourself before you love others. But one can only love someone else when they are being loved by the people around them. Only once they realize that they are being loved then they will love back. If people around you don’t love you, how are you supposed to love them?
  Sometimes I wonder who said love gives your partner an authority of control, I mean most people think if they are in love they should control the other counterpart which I don't think it works for any relationship. As much as you would love to spend quality time with your partner but it does not mean that you have control over his/her time or him as a person. Love means compromising, committing yourself and giving one another space, hence, though you can be together in spirit but you still have separate goals and respecting someone else's time just spice things up a bit.  

  To end off, love is God and God is love. God’s love is unconditional so it is important that we give unconditional love to our brothaz and sistaz.